fortnightly check-in

Honestly, I don't mean to do this only every two weeks. But somehow it just works out like that.

I don't really follow LGBT blogs that closely. I hadn't even heard of this Bilerico project place until this recent drama hit. Some activist that I'd also never heard of apparently posted something controversial that was somewhat anti-trans. There are reactions about it all over the LGBT blogosphere. They even pulled that post.

Anyways, something happened last week that reminded me of all the above. At my university, we had a couple presenters in to talk to us about educating homephobia. At the beginning, they wrote "LGBTQ" on the board and asked if everybody knew what that meant. One of them identified as "homosexuelle." (That word is declined to the feminine) The other one didn't identify herself as "LGBTQ" but specified that she had a female partner.

A big gripe I had was that they only paid the "T" lip service. They barely mentioned anything "T" related at all, other than boasting that one of their posters mentioned transphobia as well as homophobia. They, of course, did indeed mention that gender identity =/ sexual orientation.

The second issue I had was that the workshop was based solely on ways to educate students about homophobia, using ways such as comparing homophobia to racism or sexism. I think they should have mentioned ways to make the LGTBQ students in our classrooms to feel safer and more included. For example, something I do in my classroom is never separate boys/girls, or choose groups that way. Obviously, I'm more sensitive than most teachers, but I think sensitivity on this matter is something all teachers need to develop. I know I dislike having to choose, so I'm sure it's just as difficult for a trans student, or a questioning student.
Another thing I believe in is avoiding heteronormativity. I remember this one game we played in Grade 6 French Immersion, « veux-tu m'épouser ? » or "will you marry me?" The goal was to make another student smile when you proposed. Obviously this was a very heteronormative game; I'm sure nobody would have dared to propose to someone of the same gender.

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Hormones are still making me feel awesome. I haven't taken the anti-depressant (it was a weak one anyways) for two weeks. I just feel pretty happy in general, and the feeling of awesomeness is still there. I'm probably doing a horrible job of describing it, but it's a completely different thing for me.
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Non-trans related: My practicum is over. I have another one starting in January. It was a pretty good experience for the most part. I think I learned a great deal about teaching. I know I improved a lot during the roughly four weeks. Now I have three weeks off from school, which means I have to work more and earn some money. I was a little upset today at work. Not only did I go on my break at the wrong time (my ex was in the lunchroom) but then her new boyfriend came in to the lunchroom and started talking to her. Finally her father was in shopping and said hi.

I've been turning into somewhat of a party animal. I swear I'm at a "party" party every week-end. Last weekend I went to one on a Saturday night even though I had to work the next day, which meant for a really rough drive to work. (I slept over there; I would never drink and drive) Then on Thursday I was in quite the hedonistic mood, I guess. Not only did I get drunk at the pub on campus at lunch(hey, it was a shortened day), but I went to a club in Surrey with the usual party crowd from my programme. Let's just say I have no idea how much I drank, but I spent the $100 I had brought... I also danced, which is apparently only something I've started doing in the last two weeks or so. At the end my friends cut me off. This kind of drinking is much different than I would do before. Before, I would often get drunk alone after work. (no matter what the time of day!) Now, I seem to "only" binge drink socially once or twice a week(end). I don't seem to have any interest in drinking at home, aside from maybe a beer with food.

oops, I blabbed on yet again.

sometimes you just gotta do things

My younger sister is getting married on Saturday. My older sister is coming to visit from Montréal, so I'll tell her that I'm separated(if my mom hasn't) and probably tell her why.

Just a parenthetical insert: I am quite sure that my wife (do I wait until divorce to say "ex-wife"?) wanted to separate because of the trans thing. When I came home from vacation to hear "ZOMG we need to talk", I wasn't quite sure. Now that I've been moved out for a couple weeks, plus the few discussions we had when we were still sharing a house, I "just know." We both expressed some indication that we'd be willing to be flexible on the having kids issue. And that guy that she was hanging out with may have merely been a way to announce just how serious she was about separation. I haven't heard her speak about that guy since the first week or so of July. That leaves the "trans thing". Like I previously said, it's understandable. I have no right to be angry. Of course, I did respond to accusations of "you did this to me."

Back to the topic.

I had to go to a bachelor party, a.k.a. a stag, on Saturday night. I do like the guy my sister's marrying. He's pretty nice, and they seem to be good together. Ok, well I got to admit, he's a couple years younger than my sister, which isn't a problem, except he's about five years less mature than her.

Of course I would never choose to be at a bachelor party, but I obviously had to go. I knew less than half of the people there, and most of those I knew, I hadn't seen for ten years. The organiser of the party had bought a whole bunch of women's clothes at Value Village. (I had bought a pair of "granny panties") So my future brother-in-law had to wear this dress. (and later a skirt) Since he's a bit immature, he loves the attention and didn't mind the costume. First we played a round of mini-golf(the fancy kind on real grass), then we went to a restaurant, then we did stupid things. He also successfully raised $10 in 15 minutes at a busy intersection in town.
Generally he got good reactions from everybody, particularly women, who complimented him on his clothes.

What was hard for me was listening to all the homophobic and transphobic comments that ensued from some of the guys in the party. For example, somebody suggested that he belonged in the Downtown Eastside.(poorest part of Vancouver, probably Canada) Then there were some "tranny" jokes, which I didn't appreciate hearing. But obviously I wasn't about to try to educating them.

Generally I'm not in any situations with a large (~12) group of men/boys. I don't have that many friends, and even if I did it would still be hanging out in mixed(wow, that term seems old) groups. So perhaps I was a bit naïve.(I love how the term in English was borrowed from the feminine in French:P). But I was surprised by their behaviour. For example, I learned what a "fart cup" is. You cup your hand around your ass, then fart into it. Then you cup your smelly hand around the victim's mouth and nose until they inhale.

At least the minigolfing wasn't too bad. I was in group with the older people, older than I, actually. I suck at it, but it is much better on grass than kids' minigolf. I got two birdies and an eagle!