On Thursday, I met about twenty of my colleagues from the teaching program at a pub near the university to celebrate. Most people had just finished their last class. I came right after work. Many people were impressed that I took a relatively long car ride to see them. I didn't state that I would have driven three hours instead of just one and a half to see them.
My school colleagues are the closest thing I have to close friends. During the program I tried to do as much as possible with them as I could. I went to parties and even clubs and did had new experiences such as dancing and playing drinking games.
I was there from about 5:00 to 9:30, when they left to go do karaoke. Of course I would have gone, but I had to work at 7:00 a.m. and leave for a weekend trip to Alberta with my mom after work. I'm responsible, so I slept in my car until one, since I'd had a lot of beer. :)
When one of my favourite colleagues left, I really started crying a lot. (oh great, now I'm starting again) I'm so sad that the program is over. I like these people so much and I won't see them often if I do see them. Later, I was also talking to one girl who I'm not super close to. I started getting upset when we were talking about the future. So she had me come sit with her outside and talk to her. I asked if she'd heard about my presentation. She said she'd heard that there had been a big announcement involving me but not the details. So of course I came out to her. She said that she had a cousin who used to be Christine and was now Chris. She promised that we'd get together for coffee.
Yesterday I facebook chatted with the colleague whose leaving made me really cry. She's 40 with three kids. She was one of the people in my class who was very supportive when I came out. She said she'd take me clothes/accessory shopping.
All of the above is my attempt to describe how much I love these people. It's been really fun learning and laughing with them.
But what I don't understand is why they don't actually do things with me. We'll see if these last two promises end up being fulfilled or not. Between the two people that I feel closest to, I have seen them socially (individual, not a school related or a group event) a total of three times. Twice to celebrate the semesters' ends with my carpool partner whom I came out to in December and once to see that play a week ago with my lesbian friend whom I came out to in October.
There's been over five other people who've promised that they would contact me to do something but haven't. I don't get it. I know I'm fucking awesome. I'm easy-going. I'm fun to be around. I'm a good listener. I'm always up for drinking. Is there something wrong with me?
I'm going to keep trying, of course. I really need people to hang out with and talk to that are accepting and who like me of course. (I am super-likeable, I swear!)
Of my local friends, I have a married couple that I've known for over ten years. The husband was my best man. I'm out to the wife, so I'm sure that means he knows too. I see them maybe every three or four weeks. It's always the same - I come over on Friday night at 8 p.m. (after their two year-old is in bed) and bring board games. We don't really talk about deep stuff. Then I'm friends with the brother of the husband. But as with his brother, he's not into talking about anything personal.
I've been working alongside the same four people at work for four weeks now. I've never done that at my job - I usually just work alone. They did actually invite me to join them for a movie a couple weeks ago. Anyway, last week I was driving us to Triple-O's for lunch and I reached into my glove box to get my sunglasses. The woman in her forties saw my cigarettes and was surprised because I'm not a smoker. (every two weeks, maybe) She said, "what other secrets do you have?" I said that I had many. She said that I had to tell her something personal about me every day. So now, every morning, she asks me to peel another layer of the onion. An example of this was that I've only every slept with H., and for the first time on our wedding night. Obviously I have to come out to her at the end of summer.
I just don't know what the deal is with me and friends, and why I have no close ones. I know at work I just assume that everybody doesn't like me anymore because H. dumped me. (we work at the same place.) At school I tried really hard to make friends.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
ooops
My bad - it's been so long since I last updated.
Well, still developping. Constant soreness and occasional itchiness. Let's just say I won't be able to go topless this summer. My chest doesn't really pass as a male chest: the profile and shape is all different.
What I'm concerned about at the moment is where to live and where to work. There are so many variables to consider. It's frustrating. Right now I have a decent paying job (very high paying for a part time job) with benefits. I don't want to give that up. I also got hired in May in a certain Fraser Valley district. I was hired as a T.O.C., or subsitute teacher. There aren't actual positions; it's all just T.O.C.ing. The problem is that this district lies within what's known as the Bible Belt. I wouldn't want to transition there. This district tries to avoid teaching about the gays, so I'm sure having a tranny would be undesirable; I wouldn't get any work. Finally, I'd like to get out of this town. It's hard working with my ex. My family isn't very supportive. This town is also conservative. However, I only pay my sister $250 for rent. Can't beat that anywhere.
I'll be done the bulk of school in a couple weeks, although I'll only be a fully certified teacher in August. So basically, I really need to think about what is best. I have an appointment with my therapist next week which will be a good opportunity to discuss this stuff. Here's what I think are my options. (in no particular order)
1. Stay here. It's cheap. I could save up some money by working both jobs and paying little rent. However, I need to be preparing for transitioning, and living with someone who says she will be disgusted being in the same room with me when I transition is probably not helpful.
2. Move to the Fraser Valley town where I got hired. It isn't too far away. I could transfer stores. Rent isn't super-expensive. However, I think transitioning in that school district would be pointless.
3. Move to Metro Vancouver. I can transfer stores. However, it would be difficult to work in the Fraser Valley district due to distance. Getting another job as a T.O.C. is tricky; most districts are not hiring. Also, rent is much more expensive.
I can also decide to work only in the Fraser Valley district until I transition. Whether I start my teaching career there or not, I am concerned about getting hired after transition. Optimally, I'd get a job in a more tolerant school district (Vancouver would be awesome, but they are always having layoffs, so they are not hiring) during the summer and I wouldn't even have to start work in this other district. Continuity at one district makes names and references not matching up after transition a non-issue, in the same way that it won't be an issue at my other job.
Sigh. So many things to consider.
Well, still developping. Constant soreness and occasional itchiness. Let's just say I won't be able to go topless this summer. My chest doesn't really pass as a male chest: the profile and shape is all different.
What I'm concerned about at the moment is where to live and where to work. There are so many variables to consider. It's frustrating. Right now I have a decent paying job (very high paying for a part time job) with benefits. I don't want to give that up. I also got hired in May in a certain Fraser Valley district. I was hired as a T.O.C., or subsitute teacher. There aren't actual positions; it's all just T.O.C.ing. The problem is that this district lies within what's known as the Bible Belt. I wouldn't want to transition there. This district tries to avoid teaching about the gays, so I'm sure having a tranny would be undesirable; I wouldn't get any work. Finally, I'd like to get out of this town. It's hard working with my ex. My family isn't very supportive. This town is also conservative. However, I only pay my sister $250 for rent. Can't beat that anywhere.
I'll be done the bulk of school in a couple weeks, although I'll only be a fully certified teacher in August. So basically, I really need to think about what is best. I have an appointment with my therapist next week which will be a good opportunity to discuss this stuff. Here's what I think are my options. (in no particular order)
1. Stay here. It's cheap. I could save up some money by working both jobs and paying little rent. However, I need to be preparing for transitioning, and living with someone who says she will be disgusted being in the same room with me when I transition is probably not helpful.
2. Move to the Fraser Valley town where I got hired. It isn't too far away. I could transfer stores. Rent isn't super-expensive. However, I think transitioning in that school district would be pointless.
3. Move to Metro Vancouver. I can transfer stores. However, it would be difficult to work in the Fraser Valley district due to distance. Getting another job as a T.O.C. is tricky; most districts are not hiring. Also, rent is much more expensive.
I can also decide to work only in the Fraser Valley district until I transition. Whether I start my teaching career there or not, I am concerned about getting hired after transition. Optimally, I'd get a job in a more tolerant school district (Vancouver would be awesome, but they are always having layoffs, so they are not hiring) during the summer and I wouldn't even have to start work in this other district. Continuity at one district makes names and references not matching up after transition a non-issue, in the same way that it won't be an issue at my other job.
Sigh. So many things to consider.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Yay, done another semester!
I just finished my practicum semester of my teaching program. I'm very pleased. I've only got one semester left now. I will be applying to school districts next week.
I hope I can get hired in a district on the correct side of the Port Mann. I could more easily get hired in certain other districts that are growing, but then they would be less "accommodating" and supportive of me when I transition.
So really, it's less important for me to get a full-time teaching job than being in a better school district. I will be keeping my job at the grocery store(I can transfer to another one) because I get paid well and I get benefits, which I won't as a teacher on call.
I am out to my Faculty Associate at the university. She's completely cool with it. She is going to find out how it will work with me changing my name. After all, my references and evaluations all have my current name.
Speaking of names, I had to renew my driver's licence recently. I knew that BC had changed the style of licences, but I had never seen one. Not only are you not allowed to smile, but the picture is in black and white and fuzzy. But the worst part is that the gender marker is now on the front.
My plans are to completely restart almost everything. I want to get a subsitute teacher position perhaps in Burnaby or New West. I plan to move for September of this year if I get a job. Moving would be necessary working as a sub since I wouldn't be able to make it to the school on time after getting called since I live so far away. I will transfer stores which will also make it easier to actually be at work. Right now it is hard. I will start practicing make-up, voice etc. I don't feel safe here doing that. I am not sure when I would start RLE, perhaps over Xmas break.
For some reason I am optimistic even though I know it will be hard. I'm usually the pessimist type. But hey, it's hard now.
I hope I can get hired in a district on the correct side of the Port Mann. I could more easily get hired in certain other districts that are growing, but then they would be less "accommodating" and supportive of me when I transition.
So really, it's less important for me to get a full-time teaching job than being in a better school district. I will be keeping my job at the grocery store(I can transfer to another one) because I get paid well and I get benefits, which I won't as a teacher on call.
I am out to my Faculty Associate at the university. She's completely cool with it. She is going to find out how it will work with me changing my name. After all, my references and evaluations all have my current name.
Speaking of names, I had to renew my driver's licence recently. I knew that BC had changed the style of licences, but I had never seen one. Not only are you not allowed to smile, but the picture is in black and white and fuzzy. But the worst part is that the gender marker is now on the front.
My plans are to completely restart almost everything. I want to get a subsitute teacher position perhaps in Burnaby or New West. I plan to move for September of this year if I get a job. Moving would be necessary working as a sub since I wouldn't be able to make it to the school on time after getting called since I live so far away. I will transfer stores which will also make it easier to actually be at work. Right now it is hard. I will start practicing make-up, voice etc. I don't feel safe here doing that. I am not sure when I would start RLE, perhaps over Xmas break.
For some reason I am optimistic even though I know it will be hard. I'm usually the pessimist type. But hey, it's hard now.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
overdue update
Sorry I haven't been keeping up on here.
School has been going well. Teaching in my practicum re-affirms to me that I should be a teacher. I find it rewarding. Sure, it's challenging, but I find it rewarding. I don't know what I'd do other than teach. I am not going to keep working at the grocery store for the rest of my life. If I fail my practicum, I "won't make it." I'll kill myself. But I'm a "natural." I just have to not fuck up for another month or so.
I don't like being called "Monsieur _______". But it's a necessary evil. A couple weeks ago we had to pretend to be a T.O.C. (a.k.a. subsitute teacher) for a day. I did Grade 1 instead of 10. I loved it. I think I'd consider doing it for reals. (the young ones also called me Madame by accident. :) )
I had a pro-d day during this week. (that's a non-teaching work day). I was in four workshops, and there were at maximum 3 men in each one. Teaching is a fairly woman-dominated profession. Languages doubly so.
I am on the next level Estradot patch. Since the lowest one didn't do anything physiologically, perhaps this will start something. I had fucked up and not made an appointment for my endocrinologist early enough, so I had been without anything for two weeks. It was not nice having a sex drive again. I explained it to my carpool partner as being like the trailer for "40 days and 40 nights." You just sort of feel antsy. There was a recent post in the blogosphere of somebody saying transwomen were happy to lose their libido because it isn't feminine to have one. I don't feel that way; I feel it's just annoying to have it. I know women can have a strong sex drive; I remember fondly one part of my marriage during which my ex-wife would bang on the wall when she was in bed trying to get to sleep (because of working early) when she wanted sex.
A week ago I had my fourth laser treatment. Now, the hair is starting to shed. I bought three more treatments. I hope that's enough to deal with all the dark hairs so I only need electrolysis for the blonde hairs. I find facial hair to be really unpleasant. (and dysphoric..)
Valentine's day wasn't too horrible. My parents actually came over to check on me; I thought it was pretty sweet. It's just more the everyday stuff. As I've mentioned already, it isn't the marriage being over that bothers me; it's more the lack of my best friend.(or any good ones for that matter)
I fucking hate weekends for the most part. I don't see my carpool partner so I have nobody to talk to. I don't usually see friends. Ok sure, last night I did see this couple that I've been friends with for over ten years. But we aren't close. I can't talk to them about stuff I want to talk about. It bothers me that nobody that I have known before my separation knows that I'm on hormones and that I'm beginning transition. Last night there was a free deadmau5 concert at the Livecity Yaletown site in Vancouver. I really wanted to go. But I had nobody to go with. I tried unsuccessfully to convince my ex to call in sick for work and come with me. I don't have anyone else to ask that might have gone.
School has been going well. Teaching in my practicum re-affirms to me that I should be a teacher. I find it rewarding. Sure, it's challenging, but I find it rewarding. I don't know what I'd do other than teach. I am not going to keep working at the grocery store for the rest of my life. If I fail my practicum, I "won't make it." I'll kill myself. But I'm a "natural." I just have to not fuck up for another month or so.
I don't like being called "Monsieur _______". But it's a necessary evil. A couple weeks ago we had to pretend to be a T.O.C. (a.k.a. subsitute teacher) for a day. I did Grade 1 instead of 10. I loved it. I think I'd consider doing it for reals. (the young ones also called me Madame by accident. :) )
I had a pro-d day during this week. (that's a non-teaching work day). I was in four workshops, and there were at maximum 3 men in each one. Teaching is a fairly woman-dominated profession. Languages doubly so.
I am on the next level Estradot patch. Since the lowest one didn't do anything physiologically, perhaps this will start something. I had fucked up and not made an appointment for my endocrinologist early enough, so I had been without anything for two weeks. It was not nice having a sex drive again. I explained it to my carpool partner as being like the trailer for "40 days and 40 nights." You just sort of feel antsy. There was a recent post in the blogosphere of somebody saying transwomen were happy to lose their libido because it isn't feminine to have one. I don't feel that way; I feel it's just annoying to have it. I know women can have a strong sex drive; I remember fondly one part of my marriage during which my ex-wife would bang on the wall when she was in bed trying to get to sleep (because of working early) when she wanted sex.
A week ago I had my fourth laser treatment. Now, the hair is starting to shed. I bought three more treatments. I hope that's enough to deal with all the dark hairs so I only need electrolysis for the blonde hairs. I find facial hair to be really unpleasant. (and dysphoric..)
Valentine's day wasn't too horrible. My parents actually came over to check on me; I thought it was pretty sweet. It's just more the everyday stuff. As I've mentioned already, it isn't the marriage being over that bothers me; it's more the lack of my best friend.(or any good ones for that matter)
I fucking hate weekends for the most part. I don't see my carpool partner so I have nobody to talk to. I don't usually see friends. Ok sure, last night I did see this couple that I've been friends with for over ten years. But we aren't close. I can't talk to them about stuff I want to talk about. It bothers me that nobody that I have known before my separation knows that I'm on hormones and that I'm beginning transition. Last night there was a free deadmau5 concert at the Livecity Yaletown site in Vancouver. I really wanted to go. But I had nobody to go with. I tried unsuccessfully to convince my ex to call in sick for work and come with me. I don't have anyone else to ask that might have gone.
I've fucking been home all day. I haven't fucking done anything today. I'm fucking lazy. I was outside of the house for about 20 minutes. Fuck. I've had three Maudite strong beer. Weekends would be harder without booze. I think getting through my program is what is keeping me alive. That's not enough. I need to find something else in life that is worth it.
I told my mom I'm atheist. Of course she was upset. But I stated that that issue is nowhere near the top of my list of important things in my life. Perhaps one day I will be able to tell my family and old friends about my plans for transition. I suppose it's sort of convenient that I don't have anything holding me down anywhere.
Goddamn life.
I told my mom I'm atheist. Of course she was upset. But I stated that that issue is nowhere near the top of my list of important things in my life. Perhaps one day I will be able to tell my family and old friends about my plans for transition. I suppose it's sort of convenient that I don't have anything holding me down anywhere.
Goddamn life.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Fortnightly update try #2
Sorry about that last night. I had a bit too much too drink. I was at the "comfortably numb" phase but I didn't slow down enough.
Last week was my first week of school. It was generally a pretty good experience. I'm very pleased to be back in school, working toward my career. Universities in Canada have a probably 55-60% female population. My French classes have generally been at least 75% female. I don't know the percentage of school teachers that are female, but I'm trying to get at the point that my program is about 85% female. I like that. I'm hoping to be an honorary girl. One day, waiting around a table waiting for class to resume after a break, I was offered the use of orange hand moisturizer, an opportunity which I grasped.
On Wednesday, I was on the bus heading downtown for a therapy appointment. There were a couple girls on the bus from my class, so I sat next to them. They were going shopping for clothes. I was hoping to get invited, but no such luck. One asked me why I was going downtown, since it's in the opposite direction from where I live. I said I had therapy. She asked why. I said that I didn't want to say, but that I was seeing a psychologist.
I do look forward to therapy sessions. It's always interesting to see what gets discussed. This last time, there was little talk about gender identity; it was more about depression. My therapist is going to recommend to my GP that I go on a mild antidepressant, in addition to spironolactone. What I'm wondering is how will I be able to tell which of those drugs is affecting me? I am curious to see how I'll be affected nonetheless. It'd be nice to be happier. And I would be happy to lose my sex drive. I just thought of this the other day: when I'm admiring a girl's body, what part of that is jealousy, and what part is plain sexual attraction? It's probably both, but at what percentage. That's another reason I want to get rid of this testosterone stuff.
I need to book a laser appointment. I'm assuming I go somewhere for a free consult, then book a time slot.
There are enough bloggers that cover any trans-related news item, so I'm not really interested in doing that. But I may as well have a paragraph on Castor Semenya.
Unfortunately, there is no good solution to the problem of intersexed people in sports. None. All the suggestions I've seen or thought of have flaws. Make the intersexed gendered-females compete in men's sports? They won't have a competitive chance. Make intersexed people compete in their own category? Not going to happen; sport organizations aren't going to create a third gender category. Also, how will intersexed people be discovered? Are governments going to start carefully examining babies at birth? Another suggestion is instead of having two gender categories, create categories that an athlete goes into depending on their testosterone level. That is not fair. Let's say a gendered-male athlete gets an orchiectomy. His testosterone level would be fairly low. But he would still have the benefit of more bone mass, bigger muscles, etc. What about creating sports that are based less on strength and endurance, and more on skill? Googling showed me that men and women compete together in the Olympics in sailing and show jumping. But nearly all individual sports are gender-bifurcated. I don't see how that is going to change.
Best attempt at a solution is more discretion. This poor girl has made international news for something which is intensely private. How did this get released? National and international sporting organizations need clear policies. With this Castor Semenya thing, I have heard that her gender had been questioned in the past. Did her national athletics association ignore these allegations? Honestly, there is no easy solution. You could say it isn't fair for her to compete with women. I could point out that it wouldn't be fair for me to have to compete in a marathon with Kenyans. (The difference is that sports are not separated ethnicity , but by gender.)
Confusing stuff.
Last week was my first week of school. It was generally a pretty good experience. I'm very pleased to be back in school, working toward my career. Universities in Canada have a probably 55-60% female population. My French classes have generally been at least 75% female. I don't know the percentage of school teachers that are female, but I'm trying to get at the point that my program is about 85% female. I like that. I'm hoping to be an honorary girl. One day, waiting around a table waiting for class to resume after a break, I was offered the use of orange hand moisturizer, an opportunity which I grasped.
On Wednesday, I was on the bus heading downtown for a therapy appointment. There were a couple girls on the bus from my class, so I sat next to them. They were going shopping for clothes. I was hoping to get invited, but no such luck. One asked me why I was going downtown, since it's in the opposite direction from where I live. I said I had therapy. She asked why. I said that I didn't want to say, but that I was seeing a psychologist.
I do look forward to therapy sessions. It's always interesting to see what gets discussed. This last time, there was little talk about gender identity; it was more about depression. My therapist is going to recommend to my GP that I go on a mild antidepressant, in addition to spironolactone. What I'm wondering is how will I be able to tell which of those drugs is affecting me? I am curious to see how I'll be affected nonetheless. It'd be nice to be happier. And I would be happy to lose my sex drive. I just thought of this the other day: when I'm admiring a girl's body, what part of that is jealousy, and what part is plain sexual attraction? It's probably both, but at what percentage. That's another reason I want to get rid of this testosterone stuff.
I need to book a laser appointment. I'm assuming I go somewhere for a free consult, then book a time slot.
There are enough bloggers that cover any trans-related news item, so I'm not really interested in doing that. But I may as well have a paragraph on Castor Semenya.
Unfortunately, there is no good solution to the problem of intersexed people in sports. None. All the suggestions I've seen or thought of have flaws. Make the intersexed gendered-females compete in men's sports? They won't have a competitive chance. Make intersexed people compete in their own category? Not going to happen; sport organizations aren't going to create a third gender category. Also, how will intersexed people be discovered? Are governments going to start carefully examining babies at birth? Another suggestion is instead of having two gender categories, create categories that an athlete goes into depending on their testosterone level. That is not fair. Let's say a gendered-male athlete gets an orchiectomy. His testosterone level would be fairly low. But he would still have the benefit of more bone mass, bigger muscles, etc. What about creating sports that are based less on strength and endurance, and more on skill? Googling showed me that men and women compete together in the Olympics in sailing and show jumping. But nearly all individual sports are gender-bifurcated. I don't see how that is going to change.
Best attempt at a solution is more discretion. This poor girl has made international news for something which is intensely private. How did this get released? National and international sporting organizations need clear policies. With this Castor Semenya thing, I have heard that her gender had been questioned in the past. Did her national athletics association ignore these allegations? Honestly, there is no easy solution. You could say it isn't fair for her to compete with women. I could point out that it wouldn't be fair for me to have to compete in a marathon with Kenyans. (The difference is that sports are not separated ethnicity , but by gender.)
Confusing stuff.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Feeling overwhelmed
There's just too much to deal with right about now:
-GID
-being recently separated
-getting into school
-considering moving somewhere else
Damn. Plus, I'm trying to sell this second vehicle that I bought three months ago. I paid too much because I really wanted that specific year and engine. It's been on Craigslist for a day and a half for $800 less than I paid for it. I haven't had one bite yet.
And with each of those four things I listed comes further implications. With GID comes the need for therapy, deep thought, thinking about transition, etc. Being separated makes me sad and lonely. Getting into school means I have to worry about money and students loans. Moving somewhere (Somewhere in Metro Vancouver) means I have to look for a place, choose one, physically move, probably take my car off the road, and try to transfer to a different store.
The only one of those things that doesn't require me to do anything is being separated. Sure, I'm lonely, but I sure as hell don't need to be in a romantic relationship; not only does that take lots of time(I will be very busy during my program), but I think it would cause additional stress and confusion with regards to my gender identity. Haha, I can just imagine having sex with someone: "why are your armpits shaved?" "ummm...."
Any one of those issues would be a lot to deal with, but unfortunately I don't see any alternative.
-GID
-being recently separated
-getting into school
-considering moving somewhere else
Damn. Plus, I'm trying to sell this second vehicle that I bought three months ago. I paid too much because I really wanted that specific year and engine. It's been on Craigslist for a day and a half for $800 less than I paid for it. I haven't had one bite yet.
And with each of those four things I listed comes further implications. With GID comes the need for therapy, deep thought, thinking about transition, etc. Being separated makes me sad and lonely. Getting into school means I have to worry about money and students loans. Moving somewhere (Somewhere in Metro Vancouver) means I have to look for a place, choose one, physically move, probably take my car off the road, and try to transfer to a different store.
The only one of those things that doesn't require me to do anything is being separated. Sure, I'm lonely, but I sure as hell don't need to be in a romantic relationship; not only does that take lots of time(I will be very busy during my program), but I think it would cause additional stress and confusion with regards to my gender identity. Haha, I can just imagine having sex with someone: "why are your armpits shaved?" "ummm...."
Any one of those issues would be a lot to deal with, but unfortunately I don't see any alternative.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Big news in my life
I have mentioned once or twice on this blog that I'm trying to become a teacher. I actually finished all coursework for my degree in December 2007 and I've been trying to get into a teaching program ever since.
I've applied three times and got waitlisted twice. Recently, I've been waiting eagerly to hear if I get into the program that starts in January. This is something I'd discussed with my therapist, i.e. how would school affect the timeline for transition. (It's a one year program)
I just got an email today from the admissions department. They are offering me the chance to start in September! This is astonishing because I hadn't been able to apply for that intake.
I have to reply by Monday. Right now, I am thinking "YES YES YES!" I am not sure how that would work with transition. I have basically not started anything. I had been planning to start beard removal this fall if I'd gotten in for January. But realistically, I wasn't expecting to be ready to be fulltime by January. For one, I just cut my hair short at the beginning of July in a silly attempt to try to save my marriage. There's no way I could be prepared for January. Obviously September would be just stupidly early.
Now that I may be starting school right away I'll have to start thinking of timelines again. I don't really want to postpone transitioning too long. Perhaps transitioning after the long practicum would be best. I'm just brainstorming right now, but that'd be about March or April. I don't think it would be good to be a newly transitioned transsexual in your practicum.
I'm also thinking about where I'd stay. This program is on the Burnaby campus of SFU. There is no viable public transit from where I live. Driving takes 75-90 minutes each way, at a cost of about $10 per day in gas. One semester, I had to commute four days a week, which was horrible. That was even with my sister taking turns driving. I don't like spending $200 a month in gas, and I find the traffic really stressful. Now that I'm separated, there isn't a huge reason to stay living in this place where I've been for most of my life. So I think I have to consider moving closer to Burnaby.
Money is a concern. Student loans would cover tuition but nothing else. I'd have to think of that. But I really don't want to continue working at a grocery store for the rest of my life. I gotta get a career.
I've applied three times and got waitlisted twice. Recently, I've been waiting eagerly to hear if I get into the program that starts in January. This is something I'd discussed with my therapist, i.e. how would school affect the timeline for transition. (It's a one year program)
I just got an email today from the admissions department. They are offering me the chance to start in September! This is astonishing because I hadn't been able to apply for that intake.
I have to reply by Monday. Right now, I am thinking "YES YES YES!" I am not sure how that would work with transition. I have basically not started anything. I had been planning to start beard removal this fall if I'd gotten in for January. But realistically, I wasn't expecting to be ready to be fulltime by January. For one, I just cut my hair short at the beginning of July in a silly attempt to try to save my marriage. There's no way I could be prepared for January. Obviously September would be just stupidly early.
Now that I may be starting school right away I'll have to start thinking of timelines again. I don't really want to postpone transitioning too long. Perhaps transitioning after the long practicum would be best. I'm just brainstorming right now, but that'd be about March or April. I don't think it would be good to be a newly transitioned transsexual in your practicum.
I'm also thinking about where I'd stay. This program is on the Burnaby campus of SFU. There is no viable public transit from where I live. Driving takes 75-90 minutes each way, at a cost of about $10 per day in gas. One semester, I had to commute four days a week, which was horrible. That was even with my sister taking turns driving. I don't like spending $200 a month in gas, and I find the traffic really stressful. Now that I'm separated, there isn't a huge reason to stay living in this place where I've been for most of my life. So I think I have to consider moving closer to Burnaby.
Money is a concern. Student loans would cover tuition but nothing else. I'd have to think of that. But I really don't want to continue working at a grocery store for the rest of my life. I gotta get a career.
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