Monday, August 17, 2009

Sister's wedding

On Saturday, my younger sister (I have one older, one younger) got married. I was one of two ushers. I'm just going to recount a few of the interesting things.

I already mentioned how my sister literally picked out my clothes for the event, so I won't mention that. At any rate, I suppose other people saw me as attractive. (I did however, only get one "handsome" comment.)

So, I was an usher, so I had to show people to their seats. I deliberately made a big show of it, insisting that the women take my arm. Yeah, I know that's old fashioned and a bit sexist, but I was pretending, ok? Besides, the women seemed to enjoy it. I should note that the other usher didn't do this once, as far as I noticed.

I also walked my mom down the aisle as the last person to be seated before the bridal party came down. This was a bit rough, since it reminded me of when my mom walked me down the aisle as part of my wedding ceremony. I kept thinking about my own wedding during the entire day.

When the ceremony was over, everybody stood around outside drinking punch and socializing while waiting for the reception to begin. My great-aunt came up to talk to me. Now this is somebody that I wouldn't recognise out of context; I haven't met her too often. She asked me if I was "ok". I said yes, naturally. She asked again, "no, really." Then she asks where my ex was. I suspect that she had seen that I had no spouse listed in the bulletin for the funeral of my grandfather. So she was trying to comfort me and saying, "we can't always control these things, etc." "I love you, so if there's anything I can do to help, let me know." Next two of my aunts came up to "see how I was doing" and to give me hugs.

Ok, seriously... If you don't have a relationship in which you share personal information and feelings, don't go up to somebody and try to talk to them about really personal stuff. It's none of your business.

And then during the reception(which was a tea), my mom pointed to my teacup and said, "that's a woman's cup, we should trade." I suppose my teacup had a lot more pink on it, but these were all old-fashioned teacups with flowers and gold trim. I'm not sure what she was thinking. I did indeed use the keyword "gender identity" when I came out to my parents. I'm hoping that they will ask me about that stuff again. That will demonstrate to me that they have at least been thinking about it, and will give me the opportunity to share a little more.

After I had helped clean up, I went over to my friends' house for their daughter's one year birthday. Soon after I arrived, one of my guy friend's asked me where my ex was. I held out my ring-less left hand and said, "we're separated." He had a look of surprise, and my friends' mom (the grandmother of the baby) said, "WHAT!" I ran inside to avoid losing it/talking about it. Then later another friend asked about it and wanted to know what had happened. I refused to say, other than to say it wasn't an issue of infidelity or anything like that.

I think what I should have done is tell everybody I had originally told about my "marital difficulties" that they could tell people that I was separated after I moved out of the marital house. Oh well, can't do it over.

1 comment:

VĂ©ronique said...

Sounds like you got through the wedding pretty well, despite some intrusion. Having the ladies take your arm was a nice touch. Not sexist, just nicely old-fashioned, which weddings kind of are anyway.