Monday, August 10, 2009

sometimes you just gotta do things

My younger sister is getting married on Saturday. My older sister is coming to visit from Montréal, so I'll tell her that I'm separated(if my mom hasn't) and probably tell her why.

Just a parenthetical insert: I am quite sure that my wife (do I wait until divorce to say "ex-wife"?) wanted to separate because of the trans thing. When I came home from vacation to hear "ZOMG we need to talk", I wasn't quite sure. Now that I've been moved out for a couple weeks, plus the few discussions we had when we were still sharing a house, I "just know." We both expressed some indication that we'd be willing to be flexible on the having kids issue. And that guy that she was hanging out with may have merely been a way to announce just how serious she was about separation. I haven't heard her speak about that guy since the first week or so of July. That leaves the "trans thing". Like I previously said, it's understandable. I have no right to be angry. Of course, I did respond to accusations of "you did this to me."

Back to the topic.

I had to go to a bachelor party, a.k.a. a stag, on Saturday night. I do like the guy my sister's marrying. He's pretty nice, and they seem to be good together. Ok, well I got to admit, he's a couple years younger than my sister, which isn't a problem, except he's about five years less mature than her.

Of course I would never choose to be at a bachelor party, but I obviously had to go. I knew less than half of the people there, and most of those I knew, I hadn't seen for ten years. The organiser of the party had bought a whole bunch of women's clothes at Value Village. (I had bought a pair of "granny panties") So my future brother-in-law had to wear this dress. (and later a skirt) Since he's a bit immature, he loves the attention and didn't mind the costume. First we played a round of mini-golf(the fancy kind on real grass), then we went to a restaurant, then we did stupid things. He also successfully raised $10 in 15 minutes at a busy intersection in town.
Generally he got good reactions from everybody, particularly women, who complimented him on his clothes.

What was hard for me was listening to all the homophobic and transphobic comments that ensued from some of the guys in the party. For example, somebody suggested that he belonged in the Downtown Eastside.(poorest part of Vancouver, probably Canada) Then there were some "tranny" jokes, which I didn't appreciate hearing. But obviously I wasn't about to try to educating them.

Generally I'm not in any situations with a large (~12) group of men/boys. I don't have that many friends, and even if I did it would still be hanging out in mixed(wow, that term seems old) groups. So perhaps I was a bit naïve.(I love how the term in English was borrowed from the feminine in French:P). But I was surprised by their behaviour. For example, I learned what a "fart cup" is. You cup your hand around your ass, then fart into it. Then you cup your smelly hand around the victim's mouth and nose until they inhale.

At least the minigolfing wasn't too bad. I was in group with the older people, older than I, actually. I suck at it, but it is much better on grass than kids' minigolf. I got two birdies and an eagle!

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